How to Exist: Raptitude on sitting with the present moment

A new essay on the personal-development blog Raptitude, published in July, describes a small experiment: sit still for three minutes, follow two rules — "don't do anything" and "be content" — and see how long it takes before you want it to be over. The author argues that the difficulty most people have with the exercise says something important about how human beings relate to the present moment.

The experiment, and what it exposes

By "don't do anything" the rules mean no moving, no fidgeting, no indulging thoughts or daydreams; breathing and blinking are allowed. By "be content" they mean being completely okay with the experience of doing nothing, without trying to change it or getting impatient. The essay says the urge to do something — look around, replay a conversation, wiggle your toes — is strong, and that stopping everything makes existence itself feel almost unbearable. "It's as if you can only bear the present moment when you're trying to change it into something else," the author writes, describing the human being as "allergic to its natural habitat". Even pleasant experiences are not exempt: while eating an ice-cream flurry you looked forward to all day, the attention still wants to move on to the next spoonful.

The science and the coping strategies

The essay cites a 2014 study in the journal Science, in which eleven experiments found that participants typically did not enjoy spending 6 to 15 minutes alone in a room with nothing to do but think; they enjoyed mundane external activities much more, and many preferred to give themselves electric shocks rather than sit alone with their thoughts. It also points to about 100 firefighters a year in North America being convicted of arson — often young firefighters frustrated by the lack of action, according to the article's linked source. Everyday versions of the same avoidance include scrolling, snacking and rumination.

A practice: half a breath at a time

The essay suggests practising existence in very short doses. Sit with eyes open or closed, relax the body and take long, easy breaths; then try to stay open to the full feeling of a single inbreath — tingling, weirdness, doubt, whatever appears — without pushing anything away. After a pause, do the same with one outbreath, and eventually string the two together. Five minutes at first is enough, with breaks allowed. The author frames it as "existing without fear, for a few seconds at a time", with a minimum effective dose of one half-breath, and suggests that calming the allergy to existence makes ordinary discomforts — waiting in line, uncertainty, being slightly too warm — far more tolerable, and escape-driven habits less magnetic. Readers with PTSD or another psychiatric condition are advised to check with a professional before trying it.